


Perfect Fit

by fullmoon_nightowl



Series: masquerade [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Bad Puns, Crack, Fruitations (Get it? Yeah I'm gonna show myself out now...), Jared Has a Big Dick, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Self-Lubrication, Size Queen Jensen, or Self-Fruitation?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:38:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoon_nightowl/pseuds/fullmoon_nightowl
Summary: Jensen has a peach butt. Literally. I makes it hard to find guys who can satisfy him sexually. They're just never big enough. Then he meets Jared.





	Perfect Fit

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 5th round of the spn masquerade on livejournal for this prompt:  
> So, you know the cat boy thing or whatever? This is similar, but in a world where people can sometimes share traits with fruit instead of animals.  
> Jensen is one of these people. His butt has the coloring of a ripe peach and smells of peaches. While not sticky, his ass is very ripe and juicy for fucking (think peach flavored/scented lube.) Jared can be a regular guy or also have fruit like attributes.
> 
> Disclaimer: No plants were harmed in the making of this story (That’s a lie, actually, I had a peach for breakfast.) The puns are not mine, they belong to the silly part of the internet.

 

Jensen knows his ass is popular. As far as fruitations go, having a peach-fuzzed butt is pretty good.[1] He used to be a little self-conscious about the coloring—his left ass cheek is mostly light yellow, but his right darkens outward and where ass meets thigh it’s almost a dark purple-red. But he’s come to accept it. Especially because his ass is super round, supple-soft, squishy in all the right places, and smells wonderfully fruity. Hell, even his farts don’t smell worse than over-ripe fruit. He does bruise super easy, but it doesn't hurt more than anywhere else on his body and heals fairly quickly. And when it comes to sex—well, let’s just say, Jensen never once in his life had to buy lube.

A downside to the whole peach butt thing is that Jensen, well, he is very soft inside, so he kinda needs them big. Like, really, really big. Otherwise, they just get lost in his soft, squishy flesh.

When Jensen explored his gay sexuality, he learned pretty fast that there is a label for what he is: size queen. And Jensen’s fine with that. Really. Except that most human dicks still don’t do the trick. Ten inches are great but the girth’s just never enough.

So lately, Jensen hasn’t had a lot of sex. He did order some bad dragon toys that are pretty awesome, but he longs for a real, pulsing dick inside of him. What? He knows what he likes and that’s a big dick in his ass and big hands kneading his soft peach.

So when Jared asked him out, shyly and hesitantly despite the guy’s million dollar smile, his adorable dimples and the shoulders everyone wants to throw their legs over, Jensen said yes. Because Jared has pretty big hands for starters, on top of the whole cute face and broad shoulder situation. And they can always use a dildo when it comes to the actual fucking.

The only problem is, Jared’s also kind of shy when it comes to moving things along physically. They’re on their seventh date and Jensen hasn’t gotten more than a closed-mouth good night kiss, despite his best efforts. And it’s weird, because Jared is loud and boisterous with an eager puppy smile. He’s pretty tactile too, his hands constantly touching Jensen, and their feet and legs brushing whenever they sit close enough. But as soon as it veers into sexy times territory, Jared shuts down like a celibate clam.

And so Jensen’s gotten to know Jared pretty well which brings him to the next problem: Jared’s actually really nice. He’s funny and kind and smart and he loves animals. Jensen can’t stop texting him for more than a few hours and he’s sad for every day he doesn’t get to see Jared. So Jensen’s maybe already halfway in love with him. It’s gonna suck big time if the sex turns out bad.

Jensen knows he needs to figure that out right now before he’s bound for serious heartbreak.

For date number eight Jared takes him to an honest-to-god open air movie theater. They watch the entire Back to the Future Trilogy, gorge themselves on popcorn and soda and when Marty defeats Biff, they kiss. With tongue. It’s pretty awesome.

They spend the entire third movie making out like teenangers. Because it’s dark, Jensen doesn’t even have a chance to look at Jared’s crotch but at this point it doesn’t actually matter. Jensen wants Jared. In a permanent, introducing-him-to-other-people-as-his-boyfriend way. And as far as the sex goes, Jared is an excellent kisser, the perfect mix of enthusiasm and technique, and he puts his hands on Jensen's body with just the right amount of pressure. Dildos are a thing. Jensen will deal.

After the movie, Jared drives him home and Jensen kisses him with everything he’s got to make sure Jared says yes when he invites him up for a night cap.

Jared blushes and hesitates but eventually says yes. But his nervousness doesn’t subside on the way up to Jensen’s third floor apartment and it doesn't get better when Jensen presses a beer into his hands. Maybe Jared is an actual virgin? Not that he's kissed liked one but you never know how far people go. And that's fine, really, because Jensen's intentions changed from hookup to relationship around date number four and they can totally take it slow. But whatever it is that makes Jared move with the speed of a snail, Jensen just needs to know.

Jared empties half the bottle, sputters, wipes his mouth and gives Jensen a panicked smile. “You know what, it’s super late. Maybe I should…”

“Okay, no.” Jensen’s had enough. There’s something going on here, and they need to talk about it if the ever want to leave the dating for the relationship phase. “Look, I don't know what's going on with you but I'm pretty sure you like me and I like you so just talk to me okay? I _really_ like you, Jared, and I want us to work.”

Jared gives him a small smile. “I do like you. A lot.” He falls silent again.

Jensen carefully steps up to him and presses a kiss to his mouth. “Do you want to come to bed with me?”

Jared draws in a sharp breath. “I’d love to, god, Jensen, you’re so fucking beautiful and I—I mean obviously, you’re great, and intelligent and I really love your sarcasm and—”

Jensen puts a finger to his lips. “But?”

“I hvavgtn.” Jared speaks too quickly and quietly for Jensen to understand.

“Can you say that again?”

Jared looks at him, determinedly. “I have a veggitation. And it makes sex… difficult.”

Jensen opens his mouth, then closes it again. That really should have occurred to him as a possibility before. “How?” is what he finally settles on.

Jared draws back and fiddles with his hands. “Okay, so we can do anything, really, I just… I can’t... you, I can’t _you_ and I just, I kinda got the feeling you’d like that and I—I’m totally up for using toys and I’m pretty good with my mouth, and you can fuck me of course, I just… and it’s not… pretty, really, so maybe we can leave the lights off?”

And okay, now Jensen is morbidly curious. But you’ve got to give something if you want to get something. And it’s not like Jared isn’t going to see it anyways. Hopefully.

“I have a fruitation,” he offers.

Jared stares.

Jensen gives him a crooked smile, then turns around and pulls his pants down. It works much better than describing it.

“Oh god.”

Worried, Jensen looks back over his shoulder but Jared is staring at him, eyes wide and mouth open. Jensen smiles but then Jared’s face morphs into an expression of—is that sadness? Regret? What the fuck?

Jensen pulls his pants up again.

Jared must realize what his expression looks like and tries to give Jensen a smile. “Sorry. I just, I mean obviously that’s great, your butt looks really great and I’d love… No. I _will_ love touching it and kissing it and I’m sure it’s great.”

“Okay, Jared, look, even if your dick is a little small or has like a weird shape, I don’t mind,” Jensen tries to soothe him because really. “Toys are a thing, you know, and we like each other and we get along so well, we’re gonna have awesome sex, no matter what your dick looks like.”

At that, Jared lets out a slightly hysterical laugh. “Too small? That’s not… it’s too big, okay?”

“There’s no such thing as too big a dick,” Jensen says decisively.

Jared’s expression sobers. “It’s not about length, it’s the girth. And I mean no one really wants a purple dick anyway, though I have heard some people fantasizing about Thanos, but it’s not like they mean that _for real_. And the whole emoji thing is just really shitty, because people joke about it but they don’t actually want it so…”

Purple dick? Emojis? Oh god, can it be?

“Do you,” Jensen starts, then swallows, wets his lips. “Jared, do you have an _eggplant dick_?”

Jared flushes bright red and nods.

“Oh god,” Jensen breaths out, then tears his shirt over his head. “You’re fucking me, right now.”

Jared’s head snaps up and he looks at Jensen with wide eyes. “What?” He looks almost panicked when Jensen approaches him and starts pulling Jared’s shirt off.

“Jared, I have a fucking peach butt,” Jensen grits out while he struggles with Jared’s belt. “My ass is so fucking soft, no regular human dick has ever been enough.”

For a moment, Jared is completely still as he computes this information, then he explodes in motion. One giant hand comes to grip Jensen’s face and draws him in for a kiss and the other goes to Jensen’s butt.

Jared actually moans into Jensen’s mouth when he kneads the soft flesh of his ass and Jensen clings to Jared because it’s so fucking good and oh Jesus fuck, he just felt the bulge in Jared’s pants and he can’t wait to have that fucking thing filling his ass.

Together, they stumble towards Jensen’s bed and rip off each other’s clothes. Jensen almost starts drooling when he uncovers Jared’s dick because it’s so big and wide and fuck, it’s actually slimmer at the tip and then bulges out prominently at the root, covered in dark purple skin and Jensen needs to sit on that, stat.

Jared’s still eyeing him worriedly, so Jensen goes to his knees and starts mouthing at Jared’s aubergine dick. It doesn't taste like anything really but then eggplant is also kind of bland in flavor, unless you mash it and put it in the oven and Jensen’s definitely not turning that glorious cock into baba ganoush. Instead, he licks and sucks at Jared’s dick—he can only get the slim portion into his mouth which is about the width of a big dick—and massages the base with his hands. It feels so hard and firm and Jared’s making the most delicious moans.

“Jensen, please, I want, your peach—”

Fuck yeah.

Still, Jensen’s reluctant to pull back but Jared wastes no time manhandling him onto the bed and then just dives for Jensen’s butt.

“God, I could smell you from up there,” he says into the peach fuzz of Jared’s butt and drags his teeth over the soft skin.

“Oh god.” Jensen digs his hands into the sheets. This is going to be awesome.

Jared’s large hands massage his butt and then his tongue licks up his crack, before dipping right into Jensen’s hole.

“Shit.” Jared’s voice is muffled against Jensen’s skin and it vibrates deliciously against the soft hairs there. “So fucking soft and sweet, oh god.”

And then he just goes to town, eats Jensen’s ass like he’s a starving man and Jensen’s almost afraid that Jared’s gonna take an actual bite out of him when Jared’s fingers join his tongue, two or three at once by the feel of it and even though it’s not enough by far, they’re long and hard and find Jensen’s sweet spot pretty quickly.

Jensen screams and pushes back, tries to get more pressure and friction. “Jared, come on, give me your dick.”

“We won’t even need lube,” Jared sounds dazed, his fingers slowly sliding in and out of Jensen’s slick ass.

“No, we won’t. So if you could get around to it...”

“Yes. Yes, okay, I will, just gimme a second…”

Jensen pushes himself up on all four and spreads his legs a little wider, then looks back over his shoulder. Jared’s fumbling with a condom and Jensen thanks the heavens that XXXXL condoms are a thing and apparently fit Jared.

Jared looks up with a bashful smile. “I have to order them from Europe[2] but I found some that fit. Just, you know, in case, I’d ever find someone…”

“Trust me, you did,” Jensen says and wiggles his hips. He can feel a drop of peach slick dribble down his hole and god he hasn't been so excited in years.

Then Jared takes his dick in hand—it still looks gigantic in his big hands, so fat and heavy and Jensen’s pretty sure he’s actually drooling now.

“Tell me as soon as it hurts.” Jared is so earnestly insistent, Jensen can’t scold him for taking his time.

“I promise, I will.”

Slowly and oh so carefully, Jared lines his dick up. The tip slides in easy enough. Jensen definitely feels it, and then his cheeks are pushed apart by the wider base. Jensen’s flesh gives way easily enough, squished in the most pleasurable way.

Behind him, Jared takes a deep, shaky breath. “Okay. Okay, I’m gonna… Just… Oh Jesus.”

Jared pushes inside, and for a moment, the ring of muscles around Jensen’s entrance actually tenses before it loosens and lets Jared slide inside.

Jensen gasps out a breath because holy shit, he’s never been stretched so much, so _good_ , and Jared isn’t even all the way in.

Infuriatingly, Jared pauses.

“I’m okay!” Jensen rushes out. “I’m okay, only good moaning here, just fuck me, okay, I’ll tell you when to stop.”

“Okay.” Jared steadies his grip on Jensen’s hip, strokes his fingers along Jensen’s fuzz against the grain, sending shivers through Jensen’s body. Then he pushes his hips forward, driving his dick deeper inside, and Jensen can feel the stretch everywhere.

The supple flesh of his ass moves to accommodate Jared’s girth and it is oh so exquisite. When Jared’s finally in to the hilt, Jensen feels the wide girth pushing deep inside him, and then the slimmer tip going even deeper, so so deep and he can’t breathe, he’s so full. Nothing has ever felt this good.

“I’m gonna move now.”

It sounds like a question, so Jensen nods vigorously. “Yes please.”

Jared pulls out, almost all the way and then drives inside again, still slow but with intent. Jensen falls down on his elbows and arches his back and Jared understands the sign and starts fucking him in ernest.

He’s pounding Jensen’s soft flesh, squishing it in the best possible way. Jensen has never felt pressure like this before, has never felt so filled and heavy inside.

Jared’s dick also grazes his sweet spot every time he pushes inside and Jensen shoves his hips backs, tries to get more friction.

Finally, Jared leans over him, pressing him into the mattress, covering Jensen’s ass and back with his solid hot body.

Jensen moans and writhes and feels like he’s melting. Jared’s sweat-slick skin is clumping his soft peach fuzz together, pulling at the over sensitive skin in a sharp contrast to the pressure-drag inside of him.

“Jensen you’re so fucking soft, oh god, I can’t—”

“Yeah, come on, so close too, fuck.”

Jared beares down even harder, grinding his girth into Jensen and that’s it, Jensen comes, his orgasm blindsiding him with long shuddering waves wrecking his body while Jared pumps his hips frantically and collapses on Jensen’s back with a groan.

Jensen’s so fucked out, he doesn't mind Jared’s heavy weight across his back but breathing does get easier when Jared pushes up.

“Are—are you okay?”

Jensen tenses and relaxes all the muscles in his body, his ass fluttering around Jareds still hard dick and then stretches, his butt moulding around Jard’s dick.

“I’m awesome.” It’s deep and more heartfelt than he intended and Jared starts laughing.

It’s slightly hysterical, bordering on relieved more than mean though so Jensen’s not offended.

“I’m sorry.” Jared apologizes anyway. “I’m not laughing at you I just didn’t think I’d hear anyone ever say that, fuck, Jensen you’re so fucking perfect.”

Jared pulls back, and Jensen misses the fullness but Jared needs to get the condom off and okay, Jensen’s hips do twinge a little.

He rolls around and holds his arms out for Jared who willingly pillows his head on Jensen’s chest.

“Happy?” Jensen asks.

“Very.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah?” Jared looks up at him hopefully.

“I didn’t think I’d ever find a guy who could fuck me like that without a toy. And I mean that’s great too but being connected like that…”

“I wouldn’t mind a toy,” Jared mumbles and the tips of his ears turn slightly red.

Jensen laughs. “Don’t worry, I have a whole box under my bed. But I’m not done playing with your dick yet.”

They both look down to Jared’s dick. It’s shrunk in size a little but it’s still a considerable girth.

Jared leans up and kisses him. “You can do whatever you want with my dick. As long as I get some more quality time with your ass.

“Yeah?”

Jared nods. “I bet you taste great when you come.”

Jensen groans. “Okay, how about this? First I sit on your face and then I sit on your dick?”

Jared licks his lips. “That’s... auber-genius.”

Jensen stares at Jared who’s shaking and desperately trying to hold back his laughter.

“I... really a-peach-iate that,” Jensen says and manages his serious expression for about one more second and then they both break out laughing.

“Oh man,” Jared says, “I think you just conquered a peach of my heart!”

It takes them a while to stop laughing enough for Jensen to get his ass on Jared’s face.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had eggplant for dinner when I wrote this. That’s really my only excuse for this whole thing.
> 
> 1Most Fruit Mutations affect the whole body or large parts. Highly localized Mutations are fairly rare. See the World Fruit and Vegetable Mutation Association’s catalogue of _Mutation Classifications and their Frequency_ for details.  
>  [return to text]
> 
> 2 Veggitations and Fruitations are most common in Europe. See the World Fruit and Vegetable Mutation Association’s _Occurrence Report_ for details.  [ return to text ]


End file.
